May 31, 2007

News Flash: Medical history made! Hair of Hawaiian Warrior grows back blonde and curly! (grandson, Christian; Geri; HW; and grandson, Jonathan)

Haven't blogged for a week but no news is GOOD news! Normal is good! Although energy levels are at about 80%, the absence of chemo side effects is WONDERFUL!

Hope you had a great weekend. We had a very eventful Memorial Day weekend: Had both grandboys overnight on Friday. Went to a first birthday luau on Saturday (where pic was taken). "Went" to church on-line on Sunday (enewhope.org). Had two Memorial Day parties on Monday: Geri's Mom's home with her side of the family then to the Barrow's on Hickam AFB, an extravaganza of hospitality which featured almost 100 attendees (!), a band, halau (hula group), more food than we could eat, etc. A wonderful time to greet old friends and meet new ones. So we haven't been sitting at home feeling sorry for ourselves.

On the near horizon: bloodwork tomorrow (Friday), then root canals on June 5th. Radiation starts on June 11th for 15-18 sessions.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Phil 4:13

May 24, 2007

BLUF: Today is normal! Had a full night's sleep for the first time in 10 days! Glory be to God! If you got up this morning and felt more good than not, be blessed. One of the lessons I've learned is NOT take such blessings for granted!

". . . we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:5

Guess God's been working on my character, perseverance and hope!!

Have a blessed Memorial Day weekend remembering all those who sacrificed so much so we can enjoy our freedom.

May 23, 2006

BLUF-Side effects seem to be lingering this time around.

This represents the oral meds I've taken over the past seven weeks. It does not include the three rounds of approximately three liters of medication-infused saline solution over the same period. They don't call it "chemo" for nothing!

A week-and-a-half after the last IVs and a half-week after the last oral meds, I'm still feeling negative side effects. Seems they are cumulative and are longer-lasting than previous occasions.

Went out for a round of golf on Monday, May 21st. Felt woozy for the first nine then really fatigued during the next. Broke 100 which is pretty good, considering how I was feeling! Tried to go running yesterday but it turned into a jog/walk. Was able to go about 400 yards before I had to stop and walk so it's getting better, but slowly.

Had a minor milestone this morning: my first cup of coffee in seven weeks! Immediately after my first round of chemo, I completely lost my taste for coffee: couldn't even stnnd the smell of it. I'm taking this as a sign that I'm moving toward normalcy and thanking God for small blessings.

Just trusting God to take me through this valley, knowing that once through, I'll appreciate the mountaintop so much more! He does answer prayers: the cancer in one of my buddies was determined to be in its earliest stages and very treatable, and his prognosis is good. Thanking God for BIG BLESSINGS and taking time to smell the coffee!!

Musings

Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF)--Effects of chemo wearing off but insomnia finds me wandering the recesses of my mind---thinking is such an amazing ability!

Went jogging on Thursday, past, because it's always made me feel less of the negative side effects. I knew I was in trouble in the first 100 yards: my legs were burning and I was out of breath. No problem, tough it out for 200 yards then walk until I caught my breath--a hard way to do three miles but I was determined to finish and did feel better, an hour and 15 minutes later! Docs talk about a nadir (low point) in blood counts during the chemo cycle--I think I was at some kind of nadir on Thursday.

After the news that my bone marrow was not cancerous (yet), realized that I was allowing myself to think more than a month or two ahead--bought a new camera, resumed looking at used clubs and reading Home Depot/Lowe's ads again. After all, most of this kind of stuff would merely add to Geri's disposal burden after I'm gone.

Over the past few weeks, I mentally planned my own memorial service but I won't reveal any details. In a not morbid way, that was kind of fun--I'll get to request that certain very special individuals sing, dance and speak in my memory. How awesome is that? Whenever it is, it will be fun--the only rule: NO tears. If you really miss me, live your life so that we'll meet again!

Met another OSI (my active duty AF organization) cancer survivor today at a golf tournament and told her I was a fellow fighter. When I told her that I was done with chemo this week, she gave me a hug and impulsively exclaimed, "Praise the Lord!" That kind of camaraderie is priceless. Oh, I did "play" at an OSI tournament today. It's fortunate this was a select shot format because for the first 15 holes, I was not really present because of the lingering side effects. I didn't carry my load but was feeling better by the end, actually got a bit of appetite and had supper after the tourney.

Bad news this week: two other dear friends, only a day apart, informed us that they have been diagnosed with different forms of cancer. This is an omnipresent disease which is ruthless and random. Our thoughts and prayers are daily with both of them and their families as they begin their own journeys, hopefully, as Geri and I did, to a fuller, richer life, filled with family and friends and with renewed wonder, appreciation, love and support.

OK, not trying to cure any insomnia out there so will close this chapter for now. Anticipate chemo side effects to diminish through the weekend and be close to normal next week. Have a blessed weekend, love on somebody and praise the Lord!!

May 16, 2007

BLUF--the side effects of the oral chemo this week have been kicking my behind. Seems these are cumulative because I didn't really feel badly until Thursday, the last time. Yesterday, Tuesday, I had problems getting out of bed after the meds and today's not much better. I'll just have to tough it out for the next couple of days.

Some may be wondering about the root canals. I asked the same thng. Since the original bone tumor was found in my upper jaw, and since a nerve may have been severed during the biopsy, they want to do the root canals as a preventative measure just in case the affected teeth become infected or start to die, because my healing abilities are greatly reduced during chemo/radiation. So, in the interim between chemo and radiation, two or three root canals. Just more fun than I can stand!!

I am still looking up for strength, comfort and joy which God faithfully gives me daily. Thanks for your love, support and prayers which are greatly appreciated.

May 14, 2007

BLUF--Had my last chemo (at least for now) today! The hemotologist reviewed my bone marrow biopsy and declared that the abnormal cells were not cancerous! All glory be to God!

What this means is that my subsequent treatment will consist of scans to be certain nothing has developed since the last ones; two, possibly three root canals on June 5th (they have to wait until my red and white cell counts are close to normal), and then 15-18 radiation treatments. After chemo, the root canals will be a breeze!

I am more than ready to be rid of the side effects of chemo--the mild nausea, nerves on edge, insomnia, etc. Some of the milder effects include a loss of taste for coffee (used to have three or four cups in the morning), a chemical-like taste on my tongue and loss of appetite--all are probably related.

Anyway, no more chemo for now is wonderful news for which I am praising and thanking God!

May 11, 2007

BLUF--Feeling good, 95% but have one more chemo session this coming Monday.

Had meeting with Dr. Hastings, oncologist, yesterday. She had good news and not-so good-news. The good news was that my treatment is going well IF all I have is the lymphoma detected in my upper jaw on March 8th. The not-so-good news was that there were abnormal cells in my bone marrow which, if they mutate to cancerous cells, would mean that I'd immediately be considered stage 4 (the worse there is), have no radiation but five more sessions of chemo.

She didn't use the word, but I got the impression they might be considered precancerous cells. Fortunately, they are not currently cancerous; unfortunately, they (a team of doctors, radiologist, hemotologists, etc.) aren't sure whether or not these abnormal cells will become cancerous. The main concern, other than for the severity of the disease (which, in my bone marrow, would be considered myelodysplastic syndrome--inability to produce enough red blood cells, or eventually, leukemia) is that the recommended courses of treatment from this point forward are radically different: if my disease is strictly lymphoma, then one more chemo and radiation is the norm; if it's in my bone marrow, then no radiation but additional chemo is recommended.

This is just another reality of living with cancer, just more unknowns to deal with. I'm supposed to find out on Monday how the team decides to proceed. Candidly, I'd rather just have the radiation and be done with it, but I've committed to going with the best medical advice and will do whatever they recommend.

No matter what happens, as the saying goes, I don't know what the future holds, but I do know who holds the future. I still have God's peace and joy, no matter what comes.

Hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed Mother's Day weekend! I know we will!!

May 9, 2007

BLUF--feeling good--probably 90% of normal, w/the greatest deficit being my energy level.

Finished watching "Living with Cancer" on Discovery Health Channel last night. Amazing how so many of the shared emotions and insights were spot-on with ours. The empathy we've acquired for other cancer victims is also amazing--we realized we wouldn't even be watching this program had it aired 2.5 months ago.

I was reminded of how this is sometimes more difficult for Geri than it is for me. When I'm really suffering from the side effects, she can only imagine how badly I'm feeling and my bet is that her imagination is worse than reality. It's also totally out of our control.

We've learned to be totally open and honest about so many things. She's a natural caregiver, comforter and consoler. I, on the other hand, do NOT want to be cuddled, comforted or sometimes, even spoken to, if I am feeling badly. She understands that this is just a difference between what each of us feels as "comforting" in a bad situation. I can tell her, without hurting or offending her, that her questions, words of consolation and physical touches to my on-edge nerves are not comforting to me. It's another small way that we have grown closer in this situation.

Last night, I dreamed that I was in my last round of chemo, starting to feel woozy, perhaps rehearsing the side effects in advance. I awoke with a start and realized that I was dreading this proabably more than I thought. It's tough to start feeling almost normal, only to look forward to being chemically kicked in the gut once again, but I'm still thankful that this is the last round and that I at least have a two-week respite between rounds. In contrast, our friend, Clarence, who has stage 4 abdominal cancer (several organs and his abdominal wall involved in the disease), goes in WEEKLY for chemo, gets physically ill exactly five days after each treatment AND can look forward to this weekly cycle for the forseeable future! Relatively speaking, I am truly blessed!

Please remember Clarence and his wife, Pohai, in your prayers.

Enough introspection. Today, with God's help, I'm living and loving like this is my last day--as we all should every day!

May 6, 2007

BLUF--No chemo side effects, almost a normal week, except for decreased energy levels (apparently because of low red blood cell counts). Strength and endurance are slowly returning, even though hair is not!

I've learned this week to appreciate things I normally take for granted: had a small hangnail which was on the verge of infection--you know, it was a bit painful and swollen? Took really good care, soaking and bandaging, because my white cells are also down. Praise God! It healed up in a couple of days.

Appetite is back! We were supposed to do brunch last Sunday but aborted because I didn't have any appetite. This past Friday evening, we had a beautiful "date night" at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel in Waikiki (it's the old pink one right on the beach), gorged on a bountiful, delicious seafood buffet and walked some of it off afterwards, all thanks to the generosity of Geri's sister and brother-in-law, Faith and Gabriel, who gave us a gift certificate almost two years ago! They'll never know how truly blessed we felt, especially during this time.

It's May which holds: one more chemo session on the 14th; two, possibly three, root canals after chemo; 16-18 radiation treatments. Not fun, but, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!

Thanks for your continued love, prayers and support. You are appreciated far more than you'll ever know!