Had a routine check up yesterday with my radiologist, Dr. Becker. He ordered blood work and a chest x-ray to check lymph nodes which are not otherwise accessible. All looks good but lab results won't be known for about a week.
Visiting the radiology and hemotology departments again reminded me that I should never take any new day for granted. I'm back to about 100% of where I was before I started this journey although, because I'm older, I seem to get fatigued a bit more easily. Nothing to be concerned about when I recall not being able to jog even 100 yards without having to slow to a walk.
The Christmas season is upon us and I'm on a personal mission to wish as many people a very merry Christmas. Bah Humbug to political correctness! So to one and all, Merry Christmas and here's wishing you an absolutely awesome 2008!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Thanksgiving--the day after
This is not original but after an exciting and wonderful Thanksgiving day, I'd like to list a few things for which I am thankful. We had a full day, taking Cary, our son and his wife, Susan to the airport after visiting his grandmothers, then to my Mom's house for lunch, home for a nap and quick jog, then to Geri's Mom's for dinner. Did I mention we had enough to eat?! Anyway, I am truly thankful for:
-God's great love
-The gift of His Son
-Family (need to remember to tell them how much I appreciate and love them)
-Friends, both near and far (need to remember the same thing)
-Each glorious new day and the health and energy to enjoy it
-Our beloved country and the freedoms we enjoy
-All the men and women in the armed forces who sacrifice daily to ensure we continue to do so
That's my list. Hope you've got one, too. After all, we just had a holiday that was established for that very purpose!
-God's great love
-The gift of His Son
-Family (need to remember to tell them how much I appreciate and love them)
-Friends, both near and far (need to remember the same thing)
-Each glorious new day and the health and energy to enjoy it
-Our beloved country and the freedoms we enjoy
-All the men and women in the armed forces who sacrifice daily to ensure we continue to do so
That's my list. Hope you've got one, too. After all, we just had a holiday that was established for that very purpose!
Friday, October 5, 2007
October 5, 2007
AWESOME NEWS! Got results of PET/CT scans this past Tuesday in a phone call from Dr. Becker, my radiologist: "All scans and bloodwork are normal! No sign of any tumors. No need to come in for an appointment. See you in a couple of months!"
Thanks to all of you who whispered a prayer for me. Now join me in giving praise and glory to God!
Hope you have an outstanding weekend; I know I am!
Thanks to all of you who whispered a prayer for me. Now join me in giving praise and glory to God!
Hope you have an outstanding weekend; I know I am!
Monday, September 24, 2007
Sep 24, 2007
ALOHA! I am feeling stronger every day and am back into my routine.
My next major scans (PET and CAT) are scheduled for Tuesday, October 2nd. I would be dishonest if I claimed there was no anxiety about the results. I do not fear the disease--as a local healthcare provider advertises: I have cancer; cancer does NOT have me! But I dread the side effects of the treatments which might be necessary should more disease be discovered.
Am leaving that to God Almighty who knows best what is best for me but the human part of me is still feeling a bit anxious.
Guess faith is only built in times of testing . . . which this certainly has been. I can only give glory to God and trust that whatever happens is in His will for all of us.
My next major scans (PET and CAT) are scheduled for Tuesday, October 2nd. I would be dishonest if I claimed there was no anxiety about the results. I do not fear the disease--as a local healthcare provider advertises: I have cancer; cancer does NOT have me! But I dread the side effects of the treatments which might be necessary should more disease be discovered.
Am leaving that to God Almighty who knows best what is best for me but the human part of me is still feeling a bit anxious.
Guess faith is only built in times of testing . . . which this certainly has been. I can only give glory to God and trust that whatever happens is in His will for all of us.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
End of the Journey
Here's what we looked like at a wedding reception at the end of July. No symptoms associated with chemo and radiation remain. My strength and stamina are at about 95%. Hair is growing slowly, as you can see, sort of.Am almost back to my normal routine. Played golf last week and for the first time since this journey began, I did not feel exhausted towards the end of the round. Now I'll have to start working on lowering my scores! Jogged my normal loop last Saturday, and, another first, did not have to stop to walk along the way. My biggest dilemma is whether to stay with my current, no-care hair style!
Thanks to all of you who have traveled with me on this journey. It has been an ordeal I would wish on no one, but one which I would not trade for anything. It has strengthened by faith, renewed old friendships, given me a kinship with other survivors and has shown me God's love through your outpouring of love, support and prayers.
My next check up is in October, 2007. Am scheduled for complete bloodwork and full body CAT/PET scans. Will keep this blog open but won't post unless something occurs before then.
Thanks to all again. I cherish your friendship and love! May God bless you!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
July 31, 2007
BLUF: Had my last medical and lab appointments yesterday, four weeks to the day after my last radiation treatment. Diagnosis: REMISSION was reconfirmed!! I'm giving thanks to the Lord for He is good and His mercies endure forever!
The rollercoaster parts of this journey appear to be over for now and a semblence of normalcy is returning. Effects of the radiation have all but disappeared--mild tongue sensitivity, taste abnormality, hair loss on upper lip and in nostrils remain, but they are all VERY minor annoyances. My stamina is back to about 90% of normal--no more must-have naps, a vast improvement over the 10% I experienced during chemo.
I continue to be in awe of and humbled by, the friendships, expressions of support and prayers of so many people during my journey. I am trying to share that forward with so many others who are either early in their own cancer journeys or who have resumed their journeys because of the return of this disease.
Please join me in sacrifices of thanksgiving and praise for He is, indeed, good!
The rollercoaster parts of this journey appear to be over for now and a semblence of normalcy is returning. Effects of the radiation have all but disappeared--mild tongue sensitivity, taste abnormality, hair loss on upper lip and in nostrils remain, but they are all VERY minor annoyances. My stamina is back to about 90% of normal--no more must-have naps, a vast improvement over the 10% I experienced during chemo.
I continue to be in awe of and humbled by, the friendships, expressions of support and prayers of so many people during my journey. I am trying to share that forward with so many others who are either early in their own cancer journeys or who have resumed their journeys because of the return of this disease.
Please join me in sacrifices of thanksgiving and praise for He is, indeed, good!
Monday, July 16, 2007
July 16, 2007
BLUF: Radiation symptoms are fading: nasal secretions starting up, my gums look almost normal but my tongue still feels burned and my taste is not yet normal, especially for salt. My upper lip (great--don't have to shave!) and nostrils (not so great) are still totally exfoliated. All small stuff.
Downer today. Was reminded how fleeting our life on this earth really is. Clarence Kealoha, our friend who was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer about the same time I was diagnosed, passed away this morning. Please keep his wife, Pohai, and two teenaged children in your prayers. we're comforted by the belief that Clarence is no longer suffering and is in the loving arms of our Father.
Clarence, millions of others and I are the reason a bunch of us got together over this past weekend for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. We had nine official team members, including Jonathan, my five year-old grandson, and Jansen, a 10 year-old nephew (we didn't let them walk by themselves). This overnighter was not a running relay but simply a track around which we walked, to beat cancer, in memory of those who lost their battle with cancer, and in celebration of people like me, who are survivors of this insidious disease.
Thanks to all who donated and helped our team almost double our original goal. It was a bonding, inspiring event which we all agreed we want to do again next year.
One of the things we heard at the Relay was there is no finish line with cancer until a cure is found. How so very true! I'll be lighting a candle in memory of Clarence at next year's Relay, assuming the Good Lord allows me to live that long.
"Lord, remind me of how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered and that my life is fleeting away. My life is no longer than the width of my hand. An entire lifetime is just a moment to you; human existence is but a breath." Psalm 39:4-5
Downer today. Was reminded how fleeting our life on this earth really is. Clarence Kealoha, our friend who was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer about the same time I was diagnosed, passed away this morning. Please keep his wife, Pohai, and two teenaged children in your prayers. we're comforted by the belief that Clarence is no longer suffering and is in the loving arms of our Father.
Clarence, millions of others and I are the reason a bunch of us got together over this past weekend for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. We had nine official team members, including Jonathan, my five year-old grandson, and Jansen, a 10 year-old nephew (we didn't let them walk by themselves). This overnighter was not a running relay but simply a track around which we walked, to beat cancer, in memory of those who lost their battle with cancer, and in celebration of people like me, who are survivors of this insidious disease.
Thanks to all who donated and helped our team almost double our original goal. It was a bonding, inspiring event which we all agreed we want to do again next year.
One of the things we heard at the Relay was there is no finish line with cancer until a cure is found. How so very true! I'll be lighting a candle in memory of Clarence at next year's Relay, assuming the Good Lord allows me to live that long.
"Lord, remind me of how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered and that my life is fleeting away. My life is no longer than the width of my hand. An entire lifetime is just a moment to you; human existence is but a breath." Psalm 39:4-5
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
July 4, 2007
Bottom Line Up Front: All treatments are OVER! Praise God!!
Had my last radiation treatment on July 2nd--what a relief! I just realized that I've continuously been in tests, diagnoses and treatments of one kind or another since March. I won't know what to do with all my free time but this Independence Day is very special because I'm free of medical appointments! Not really, I do have two follow-up appointments but they aren't ntil the end of July!!
Anyway, the effects of radiaion, feeling like my entire mouth has been badly scalded, sore, swollen, almost peeling gums (tough to brush my teeth) and dry nostrils are all relatively minor when compared with the side effects of chemo. I guess most everything's relative.
Am getting stronger every day--my weekend jog did not, for the first time since treatment started, result in my feeling totally exhausted. My golf game hasn't improved but that probably has more to do with skill rather than stamina!
Looking forward to getting back to normal and giving God all the praise for my progress so far. Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th!! Please take a moment to say a prayer for all of those fighting for all the freedoms we enjoy every day.
Had my last radiation treatment on July 2nd--what a relief! I just realized that I've continuously been in tests, diagnoses and treatments of one kind or another since March. I won't know what to do with all my free time but this Independence Day is very special because I'm free of medical appointments! Not really, I do have two follow-up appointments but they aren't ntil the end of July!!
Anyway, the effects of radiaion, feeling like my entire mouth has been badly scalded, sore, swollen, almost peeling gums (tough to brush my teeth) and dry nostrils are all relatively minor when compared with the side effects of chemo. I guess most everything's relative.
Am getting stronger every day--my weekend jog did not, for the first time since treatment started, result in my feeling totally exhausted. My golf game hasn't improved but that probably has more to do with skill rather than stamina!
Looking forward to getting back to normal and giving God all the praise for my progress so far. Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th!! Please take a moment to say a prayer for all of those fighting for all the freedoms we enjoy every day.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Relay for Life
The American Cancer Society is sponsoring a Relay for Life on July 14-15 at Magic Island, Honolulu, HI. Our team has been named PODracers for Phil (me), Omi (Geri's sister, also a survivor) and Denys (Geri's sister-in-law, who passed away from cancer) by our team captain, Rodney Tam, Geri's nephew.
ABSOLUTELY NO PRESSURE, but if you'd like to make a donation go to this site http://www.acsevents.org/hi/relay/magicisland/podracers Simply click on my name. If you're in Honolulu, please consider joining our team for this overnighter which should be lots of fun for a very worthy cause.
Bottom Line on the Bottom: Radiation is almost done but side effects of painful mouth and sores persist. Only three more to go! God is good!
ABSOLUTELY NO PRESSURE, but if you'd like to make a donation go to this site http://www.acsevents.org/hi/relay/magicisland/podracers Simply click on my name. If you're in Honolulu, please consider joining our team for this overnighter which should be lots of fun for a very worthy cause.
Bottom Line on the Bottom: Radiation is almost done but side effects of painful mouth and sores persist. Only three more to go! God is good!
Monday, June 25, 2007
June 25, 2007
Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF): Side effects of radiation are showing up--the entire inside of my mouth, including my tongue, feels like I've got a sunburn (gotta quit driving around with the top down and my mouth wide open!) and gums on the right upper side are very sensitive to spices, heat and touch.
I've also been very fatigued which, both my radiologist and the head radiology nurse say, has nothing to do with the treatments. Sleeping nine hours per night and still having to take naps, no stamina when doing anything physical--not too good for productivity but I did manage to get the yard done this weekend. Bloodwork last week was in the low but normal ranges. As the saying goes, I'm getting sick and tired of being sick and tired!
But only six more radiation treatments to go! Still praising God for every new day and for the blessings of family, friends and his glorious creation! Have a great week!!
I've also been very fatigued which, both my radiologist and the head radiology nurse say, has nothing to do with the treatments. Sleeping nine hours per night and still having to take naps, no stamina when doing anything physical--not too good for productivity but I did manage to get the yard done this weekend. Bloodwork last week was in the low but normal ranges. As the saying goes, I'm getting sick and tired of being sick and tired!
But only six more radiation treatments to go! Still praising God for every new day and for the blessings of family, friends and his glorious creation! Have a great week!!
Friday, June 15, 2007
June 15, 2007
BLUF: Completed four of 15 daily radiation treatments this morning. Compared to chemo, this is a walk in the park: 10 minutes, start to finish, no side effects.
If pics are worth a 1,000 words, here are 2,000 words. I know this looks like something out of "Tales from the Crypt" but pic shows me strapped into my rigid plastic, full-head mask to insure that I don't move so that only affected area is radiated:
And here's an artsy pic of the laser alignments (reference marks on the mask and one tatooed dot on my sternum) used to insure that I'm exactly where I need to be when they ZAP me with radiation:
Only 11 more treatments to go! Praising God for the knowledge of the doctors, the skill of the technicians, the love of family and friends and most of all, for His mercy and grace!
If pics are worth a 1,000 words, here are 2,000 words. I know this looks like something out of "Tales from the Crypt" but pic shows me strapped into my rigid plastic, full-head mask to insure that I don't move so that only affected area is radiated:
And here's an artsy pic of the laser alignments (reference marks on the mask and one tatooed dot on my sternum) used to insure that I'm exactly where I need to be when they ZAP me with radiation:Only 11 more treatments to go! Praising God for the knowledge of the doctors, the skill of the technicians, the love of family and friends and most of all, for His mercy and grace!Saturday, June 9, 2007
June 9, 2007
BLUF: Nothing but good news this past week!
On Thursday, had appt w/radiologist, Dr. Becker. After consultation with the leading expert on lymphoma in the country, he decided to radiate only the affected area in my upper jaw, obviating the possibility of adverse effects on my salivary glands, which might cause dry mouth, change the pH in my mouth resulting in caries and other not-so-good things.
After my encouraging conversation with Dr. Becker, I went back to the technical part of the clinic where I had a full-face, or rather, full-head mask fabricated: heated, perforated plastic, which resembles cheesecloth when stretched, was placed over my face, stretched and attached to the table under my head as it will be during radiation. As the plastic cooled, it became rigid, ensuring that I do not move when the radiation is administered. The technicians then turned on laser locaters and drew landmarks on the mask with one on my sternum (actually just a Sharpie line covered with a very sticky clear adhesive patch) .
Yesterday, Friday, I had an appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Hastings. After reviewing lab results and a physical exam she, though understandably, very cautiously conservative in the past, used the "R" word: it appears that my disease is in REMISSION! Even though it was Friday afternoon, she smiled broadly because she got to deliver such great news which probably does not happen very often in her profession.
While I am looking forward to getting the daily radiation treatments behind me, I have a renewed appreciation for life every day, for God's beauty all around us, for family, for friends and for the power of prayer. If you are one of many around the world who whispered a prayer for me, please shout a joyful THANKSGIVING because He heard and answered! I am grateful, amazed, humbled and still nearly bald! Have an awesome weekend!
On Thursday, had appt w/radiologist, Dr. Becker. After consultation with the leading expert on lymphoma in the country, he decided to radiate only the affected area in my upper jaw, obviating the possibility of adverse effects on my salivary glands, which might cause dry mouth, change the pH in my mouth resulting in caries and other not-so-good things.
After my encouraging conversation with Dr. Becker, I went back to the technical part of the clinic where I had a full-face, or rather, full-head mask fabricated: heated, perforated plastic, which resembles cheesecloth when stretched, was placed over my face, stretched and attached to the table under my head as it will be during radiation. As the plastic cooled, it became rigid, ensuring that I do not move when the radiation is administered. The technicians then turned on laser locaters and drew landmarks on the mask with one on my sternum (actually just a Sharpie line covered with a very sticky clear adhesive patch) .
Yesterday, Friday, I had an appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Hastings. After reviewing lab results and a physical exam she, though understandably, very cautiously conservative in the past, used the "R" word: it appears that my disease is in REMISSION! Even though it was Friday afternoon, she smiled broadly because she got to deliver such great news which probably does not happen very often in her profession.
While I am looking forward to getting the daily radiation treatments behind me, I have a renewed appreciation for life every day, for God's beauty all around us, for family, for friends and for the power of prayer. If you are one of many around the world who whispered a prayer for me, please shout a joyful THANKSGIVING because He heard and answered! I am grateful, amazed, humbled and still nearly bald! Have an awesome weekend!
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
June 5, 2007
Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF)--Had only one (1) root canal which took less than an hour. Absolutely painless and uneventful! Tests indicated that only one tooth was adversely affected by the biopsy needing this treatment. I don't understand how this procedure came to be synonymous with pain!
Strength is slowly returning but blood counts as of last Friday show my hemoglobin at just inside low but normal levels, which accounts for my lack of stamina. Bad news is that it will probably take about three months to get back to normal. Good news is that chemo is OVER!
What hair didn't fall out is slowly growing back. Unfortunately, that's about half of what I had originally so it looks like salt/pepper peach fuzz along the top and back of my head. Still have no use for shampoo. Will post a pic as soon as it's visible! Facial hair, again what didn't fall out, is starting to grow again, forcing me to shave regularly again. Minor inconvienience!
Just received word that two more members from my active duy military organization died in Iraq. My heart aches for their families, one of which included two boys and an 11-month old girl. Please pray for all our service members who are fighting this war on terorism so that we can continue to enjoy the freedoms we sometimes take for granted. We're still at war, although many, including those in Congress, seem to have forgotten. May God bless America!
Strength is slowly returning but blood counts as of last Friday show my hemoglobin at just inside low but normal levels, which accounts for my lack of stamina. Bad news is that it will probably take about three months to get back to normal. Good news is that chemo is OVER!
What hair didn't fall out is slowly growing back. Unfortunately, that's about half of what I had originally so it looks like salt/pepper peach fuzz along the top and back of my head. Still have no use for shampoo. Will post a pic as soon as it's visible! Facial hair, again what didn't fall out, is starting to grow again, forcing me to shave regularly again. Minor inconvienience!
Just received word that two more members from my active duy military organization died in Iraq. My heart aches for their families, one of which included two boys and an 11-month old girl. Please pray for all our service members who are fighting this war on terorism so that we can continue to enjoy the freedoms we sometimes take for granted. We're still at war, although many, including those in Congress, seem to have forgotten. May God bless America!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
May 31, 2007
News Flash: Medical history made! Hair of Hawaiian Warrior grows back blonde and curly! (grandson, Christian; Geri; HW; and grandson, Jonathan)Haven't blogged for a week but no news is GOOD news! Normal is good! Although energy levels are at about 80%, the absence of chemo side effects is WONDERFUL!
Hope you had a great weekend. We had a very eventful Memorial Day weekend: Had both grandboys overnight on Friday. Went to a first birthday luau on Saturday (where pic was taken). "Went" to church on-line on Sunday (enewhope.org). Had two Memorial Day parties on Monday: Geri's Mom's home with her side of the family then to the Barrow's on Hickam AFB, an extravaganza of hospitality which featured almost 100 attendees (!), a band, halau (hula group), more food than we could eat, etc. A wonderful time to greet old friends and meet new ones. So we haven't been sitting at home feeling sorry for ourselves.
On the near horizon: bloodwork tomorrow (Friday), then root canals on June 5th. Radiation starts on June 11th for 15-18 sessions.
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Phil 4:13
Thursday, May 24, 2007
May 24, 2007
BLUF: Today is normal! Had a full night's sleep for the first time in 10 days! Glory be to God! If you got up this morning and felt more good than not, be blessed. One of the lessons I've learned is NOT take such blessings for granted!
". . . we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:5
Guess God's been working on my character, perseverance and hope!!
Have a blessed Memorial Day weekend remembering all those who sacrificed so much so we can enjoy our freedom.
". . . we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:5
Guess God's been working on my character, perseverance and hope!!
Have a blessed Memorial Day weekend remembering all those who sacrificed so much so we can enjoy our freedom.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
May 23, 2006
BLUF-Side effects seem to be lingering this time around.This represents the oral meds I've taken over the past seven weeks. It does not include the three rounds of approximately three liters of medication-infused saline solution over the same period. They don't call it "chemo" for nothing!
A week-and-a-half after the last IVs and a half-week after the last oral meds, I'm still feeling negative side effects. Seems they are cumulative and are longer-lasting than previous occasions.
Went out for a round of golf on Monday, May 21st. Felt woozy for the first nine then really fatigued during the next. Broke 100 which is pretty good, considering how I was feeling! Tried to go running yesterday but it turned into a jog/walk. Was able to go about 400 yards before I had to stop and walk so it's getting better, but slowly.
Had a minor milestone this morning: my first cup of coffee in seven weeks! Immediately after my first round of chemo, I completely lost my taste for coffee: couldn't even stnnd the smell of it. I'm taking this as a sign that I'm moving toward normalcy and thanking God for small blessings.
Just trusting God to take me through this valley, knowing that once through, I'll appreciate the mountaintop so much more! He does answer prayers: the cancer in one of my buddies was determined to be in its earliest stages and very treatable, and his prognosis is good. Thanking God for BIG BLESSINGS and taking time to smell the coffee!!
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Musings
Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF)--Effects of chemo wearing off but insomnia finds me wandering the recesses of my mind---thinking is such an amazing ability!
Went jogging on Thursday, past, because it's always made me feel less of the negative side effects. I knew I was in trouble in the first 100 yards: my legs were burning and I was out of breath. No problem, tough it out for 200 yards then walk until I caught my breath--a hard way to do three miles but I was determined to finish and did feel better, an hour and 15 minutes later! Docs talk about a nadir (low point) in blood counts during the chemo cycle--I think I was at some kind of nadir on Thursday.
After the news that my bone marrow was not cancerous (yet), realized that I was allowing myself to think more than a month or two ahead--bought a new camera, resumed looking at used clubs and reading Home Depot/Lowe's ads again. After all, most of this kind of stuff would merely add to Geri's disposal burden after I'm gone.
Over the past few weeks, I mentally planned my own memorial service but I won't reveal any details. In a not morbid way, that was kind of fun--I'll get to request that certain very special individuals sing, dance and speak in my memory. How awesome is that? Whenever it is, it will be fun--the only rule: NO tears. If you really miss me, live your life so that we'll meet again!
Met another OSI (my active duty AF organization) cancer survivor today at a golf tournament and told her I was a fellow fighter. When I told her that I was done with chemo this week, she gave me a hug and impulsively exclaimed, "Praise the Lord!" That kind of camaraderie is priceless. Oh, I did "play" at an OSI tournament today. It's fortunate this was a select shot format because for the first 15 holes, I was not really present because of the lingering side effects. I didn't carry my load but was feeling better by the end, actually got a bit of appetite and had supper after the tourney.
Bad news this week: two other dear friends, only a day apart, informed us that they have been diagnosed with different forms of cancer. This is an omnipresent disease which is ruthless and random. Our thoughts and prayers are daily with both of them and their families as they begin their own journeys, hopefully, as Geri and I did, to a fuller, richer life, filled with family and friends and with renewed wonder, appreciation, love and support.
OK, not trying to cure any insomnia out there so will close this chapter for now. Anticipate chemo side effects to diminish through the weekend and be close to normal next week. Have a blessed weekend, love on somebody and praise the Lord!!
Went jogging on Thursday, past, because it's always made me feel less of the negative side effects. I knew I was in trouble in the first 100 yards: my legs were burning and I was out of breath. No problem, tough it out for 200 yards then walk until I caught my breath--a hard way to do three miles but I was determined to finish and did feel better, an hour and 15 minutes later! Docs talk about a nadir (low point) in blood counts during the chemo cycle--I think I was at some kind of nadir on Thursday.
After the news that my bone marrow was not cancerous (yet), realized that I was allowing myself to think more than a month or two ahead--bought a new camera, resumed looking at used clubs and reading Home Depot/Lowe's ads again. After all, most of this kind of stuff would merely add to Geri's disposal burden after I'm gone.
Over the past few weeks, I mentally planned my own memorial service but I won't reveal any details. In a not morbid way, that was kind of fun--I'll get to request that certain very special individuals sing, dance and speak in my memory. How awesome is that? Whenever it is, it will be fun--the only rule: NO tears. If you really miss me, live your life so that we'll meet again!
Met another OSI (my active duty AF organization) cancer survivor today at a golf tournament and told her I was a fellow fighter. When I told her that I was done with chemo this week, she gave me a hug and impulsively exclaimed, "Praise the Lord!" That kind of camaraderie is priceless. Oh, I did "play" at an OSI tournament today. It's fortunate this was a select shot format because for the first 15 holes, I was not really present because of the lingering side effects. I didn't carry my load but was feeling better by the end, actually got a bit of appetite and had supper after the tourney.
Bad news this week: two other dear friends, only a day apart, informed us that they have been diagnosed with different forms of cancer. This is an omnipresent disease which is ruthless and random. Our thoughts and prayers are daily with both of them and their families as they begin their own journeys, hopefully, as Geri and I did, to a fuller, richer life, filled with family and friends and with renewed wonder, appreciation, love and support.
OK, not trying to cure any insomnia out there so will close this chapter for now. Anticipate chemo side effects to diminish through the weekend and be close to normal next week. Have a blessed weekend, love on somebody and praise the Lord!!
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
May 16, 2007
BLUF--the side effects of the oral chemo this week have been kicking my behind. Seems these are cumulative because I didn't really feel badly until Thursday, the last time. Yesterday, Tuesday, I had problems getting out of bed after the meds and today's not much better. I'll just have to tough it out for the next couple of days.
Some may be wondering about the root canals. I asked the same thng. Since the original bone tumor was found in my upper jaw, and since a nerve may have been severed during the biopsy, they want to do the root canals as a preventative measure just in case the affected teeth become infected or start to die, because my healing abilities are greatly reduced during chemo/radiation. So, in the interim between chemo and radiation, two or three root canals. Just more fun than I can stand!!
I am still looking up for strength, comfort and joy which God faithfully gives me daily. Thanks for your love, support and prayers which are greatly appreciated.
Some may be wondering about the root canals. I asked the same thng. Since the original bone tumor was found in my upper jaw, and since a nerve may have been severed during the biopsy, they want to do the root canals as a preventative measure just in case the affected teeth become infected or start to die, because my healing abilities are greatly reduced during chemo/radiation. So, in the interim between chemo and radiation, two or three root canals. Just more fun than I can stand!!
I am still looking up for strength, comfort and joy which God faithfully gives me daily. Thanks for your love, support and prayers which are greatly appreciated.
Monday, May 14, 2007
May 14, 2007
BLUF--Had my last chemo (at least for now) today! The hemotologist reviewed my bone marrow biopsy and declared that the abnormal cells were not cancerous! All glory be to God!
What this means is that my subsequent treatment will consist of scans to be certain nothing has developed since the last ones; two, possibly three root canals on June 5th (they have to wait until my red and white cell counts are close to normal), and then 15-18 radiation treatments. After chemo, the root canals will be a breeze!
I am more than ready to be rid of the side effects of chemo--the mild nausea, nerves on edge, insomnia, etc. Some of the milder effects include a loss of taste for coffee (used to have three or four cups in the morning), a chemical-like taste on my tongue and loss of appetite--all are probably related.
Anyway, no more chemo for now is wonderful news for which I am praising and thanking God!
What this means is that my subsequent treatment will consist of scans to be certain nothing has developed since the last ones; two, possibly three root canals on June 5th (they have to wait until my red and white cell counts are close to normal), and then 15-18 radiation treatments. After chemo, the root canals will be a breeze!
I am more than ready to be rid of the side effects of chemo--the mild nausea, nerves on edge, insomnia, etc. Some of the milder effects include a loss of taste for coffee (used to have three or four cups in the morning), a chemical-like taste on my tongue and loss of appetite--all are probably related.
Anyway, no more chemo for now is wonderful news for which I am praising and thanking God!
Friday, May 11, 2007
May 11, 2007
BLUF--Feeling good, 95% but have one more chemo session this coming Monday.
Had meeting with Dr. Hastings, oncologist, yesterday. She had good news and not-so good-news. The good news was that my treatment is going well IF all I have is the lymphoma detected in my upper jaw on March 8th. The not-so-good news was that there were abnormal cells in my bone marrow which, if they mutate to cancerous cells, would mean that I'd immediately be considered stage 4 (the worse there is), have no radiation but five more sessions of chemo.
She didn't use the word, but I got the impression they might be considered precancerous cells. Fortunately, they are not currently cancerous; unfortunately, they (a team of doctors, radiologist, hemotologists, etc.) aren't sure whether or not these abnormal cells will become cancerous. The main concern, other than for the severity of the disease (which, in my bone marrow, would be considered myelodysplastic syndrome--inability to produce enough red blood cells, or eventually, leukemia) is that the recommended courses of treatment from this point forward are radically different: if my disease is strictly lymphoma, then one more chemo and radiation is the norm; if it's in my bone marrow, then no radiation but additional chemo is recommended.
This is just another reality of living with cancer, just more unknowns to deal with. I'm supposed to find out on Monday how the team decides to proceed. Candidly, I'd rather just have the radiation and be done with it, but I've committed to going with the best medical advice and will do whatever they recommend.
No matter what happens, as the saying goes, I don't know what the future holds, but I do know who holds the future. I still have God's peace and joy, no matter what comes.
Hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed Mother's Day weekend! I know we will!!
Had meeting with Dr. Hastings, oncologist, yesterday. She had good news and not-so good-news. The good news was that my treatment is going well IF all I have is the lymphoma detected in my upper jaw on March 8th. The not-so-good news was that there were abnormal cells in my bone marrow which, if they mutate to cancerous cells, would mean that I'd immediately be considered stage 4 (the worse there is), have no radiation but five more sessions of chemo.
She didn't use the word, but I got the impression they might be considered precancerous cells. Fortunately, they are not currently cancerous; unfortunately, they (a team of doctors, radiologist, hemotologists, etc.) aren't sure whether or not these abnormal cells will become cancerous. The main concern, other than for the severity of the disease (which, in my bone marrow, would be considered myelodysplastic syndrome--inability to produce enough red blood cells, or eventually, leukemia) is that the recommended courses of treatment from this point forward are radically different: if my disease is strictly lymphoma, then one more chemo and radiation is the norm; if it's in my bone marrow, then no radiation but additional chemo is recommended.
This is just another reality of living with cancer, just more unknowns to deal with. I'm supposed to find out on Monday how the team decides to proceed. Candidly, I'd rather just have the radiation and be done with it, but I've committed to going with the best medical advice and will do whatever they recommend.
No matter what happens, as the saying goes, I don't know what the future holds, but I do know who holds the future. I still have God's peace and joy, no matter what comes.
Hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed Mother's Day weekend! I know we will!!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
May 9, 2007
BLUF--feeling good--probably 90% of normal, w/the greatest deficit being my energy level.
Finished watching "Living with Cancer" on Discovery Health Channel last night. Amazing how so many of the shared emotions and insights were spot-on with ours. The empathy we've acquired for other cancer victims is also amazing--we realized we wouldn't even be watching this program had it aired 2.5 months ago.
I was reminded of how this is sometimes more difficult for Geri than it is for me. When I'm really suffering from the side effects, she can only imagine how badly I'm feeling and my bet is that her imagination is worse than reality. It's also totally out of our control.
We've learned to be totally open and honest about so many things. She's a natural caregiver, comforter and consoler. I, on the other hand, do NOT want to be cuddled, comforted or sometimes, even spoken to, if I am feeling badly. She understands that this is just a difference between what each of us feels as "comforting" in a bad situation. I can tell her, without hurting or offending her, that her questions, words of consolation and physical touches to my on-edge nerves are not comforting to me. It's another small way that we have grown closer in this situation.
Last night, I dreamed that I was in my last round of chemo, starting to feel woozy, perhaps rehearsing the side effects in advance. I awoke with a start and realized that I was dreading this proabably more than I thought. It's tough to start feeling almost normal, only to look forward to being chemically kicked in the gut once again, but I'm still thankful that this is the last round and that I at least have a two-week respite between rounds. In contrast, our friend, Clarence, who has stage 4 abdominal cancer (several organs and his abdominal wall involved in the disease), goes in WEEKLY for chemo, gets physically ill exactly five days after each treatment AND can look forward to this weekly cycle for the forseeable future! Relatively speaking, I am truly blessed!
Please remember Clarence and his wife, Pohai, in your prayers.
Enough introspection. Today, with God's help, I'm living and loving like this is my last day--as we all should every day!
Finished watching "Living with Cancer" on Discovery Health Channel last night. Amazing how so many of the shared emotions and insights were spot-on with ours. The empathy we've acquired for other cancer victims is also amazing--we realized we wouldn't even be watching this program had it aired 2.5 months ago.
I was reminded of how this is sometimes more difficult for Geri than it is for me. When I'm really suffering from the side effects, she can only imagine how badly I'm feeling and my bet is that her imagination is worse than reality. It's also totally out of our control.
We've learned to be totally open and honest about so many things. She's a natural caregiver, comforter and consoler. I, on the other hand, do NOT want to be cuddled, comforted or sometimes, even spoken to, if I am feeling badly. She understands that this is just a difference between what each of us feels as "comforting" in a bad situation. I can tell her, without hurting or offending her, that her questions, words of consolation and physical touches to my on-edge nerves are not comforting to me. It's another small way that we have grown closer in this situation.
Last night, I dreamed that I was in my last round of chemo, starting to feel woozy, perhaps rehearsing the side effects in advance. I awoke with a start and realized that I was dreading this proabably more than I thought. It's tough to start feeling almost normal, only to look forward to being chemically kicked in the gut once again, but I'm still thankful that this is the last round and that I at least have a two-week respite between rounds. In contrast, our friend, Clarence, who has stage 4 abdominal cancer (several organs and his abdominal wall involved in the disease), goes in WEEKLY for chemo, gets physically ill exactly five days after each treatment AND can look forward to this weekly cycle for the forseeable future! Relatively speaking, I am truly blessed!
Please remember Clarence and his wife, Pohai, in your prayers.
Enough introspection. Today, with God's help, I'm living and loving like this is my last day--as we all should every day!
Sunday, May 6, 2007
May 6, 2007
BLUF--No chemo side effects, almost a normal week, except for decreased energy levels (apparently because of low red blood cell counts). Strength and endurance are slowly returning, even though hair is not!
I've learned this week to appreciate things I normally take for granted: had a small hangnail which was on the verge of infection--you know, it was a bit painful and swollen? Took really good care, soaking and bandaging, because my white cells are also down. Praise God! It healed up in a couple of days.
Appetite is back! We were supposed to do brunch last Sunday but aborted because I didn't have any appetite. This past Friday evening, we had a beautiful "date night" at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel in Waikiki (it's the old pink one right on the beach), gorged on a bountiful, delicious seafood buffet and walked some of it off afterwards, all thanks to the generosity of Geri's sister and brother-in-law, Faith and Gabriel, who gave us a gift certificate almost two years ago! They'll never know how truly blessed we felt, especially during this time.
It's May which holds: one more chemo session on the 14th; two, possibly three, root canals after chemo; 16-18 radiation treatments. Not fun, but, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!
Thanks for your continued love, prayers and support. You are appreciated far more than you'll ever know!
I've learned this week to appreciate things I normally take for granted: had a small hangnail which was on the verge of infection--you know, it was a bit painful and swollen? Took really good care, soaking and bandaging, because my white cells are also down. Praise God! It healed up in a couple of days.
Appetite is back! We were supposed to do brunch last Sunday but aborted because I didn't have any appetite. This past Friday evening, we had a beautiful "date night" at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel in Waikiki (it's the old pink one right on the beach), gorged on a bountiful, delicious seafood buffet and walked some of it off afterwards, all thanks to the generosity of Geri's sister and brother-in-law, Faith and Gabriel, who gave us a gift certificate almost two years ago! They'll never know how truly blessed we felt, especially during this time.
It's May which holds: one more chemo session on the 14th; two, possibly three, root canals after chemo; 16-18 radiation treatments. Not fun, but, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!
Thanks for your continued love, prayers and support. You are appreciated far more than you'll ever know!
Monday, April 30, 2007
April 30, 2007
Bottom line up front (BLUF)--last night was the first full night of good sleep in a week. Feel almost human today, appetite is coming back and nausea/nervous guts are nonexistent!
Am rejoicing in this day which the Lord has made!
Am rejoicing in this day which the Lord has made!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
April 29, 2007
BLUF--Hopefully chemo side effects are on the wane and normalcy will prevail.
Had a pretty tough week since the last chemo. Suspect that the problem is the one med which I take orally for four days following the other IV meds--I think that one is accumulating in my body over the week because its unpleasant side effects seemed to get stronger as the week progressed. I'm off of it as of Friday and am starting to feel almost human again.
Paul wrote that he pleaded with the Lord three times to take away a mysterious infirmity, to which the Lord replied, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, Paul concluded, "I will gladly boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." It's no coincidence that I have three chemo sessions to endure!
Prayers, friendship and support continue to come from friends all over the world! It's both awe-inspiring yet humbling. Thanks to all--you are appreciated and truly, the wind above my wings [anyone with even a modicum knowledge of aerodynamics knows that it is the wind ABOVE, not below, a wing that generates lift!]. You lift me up!! Thank YOU!!!
Had a pretty tough week since the last chemo. Suspect that the problem is the one med which I take orally for four days following the other IV meds--I think that one is accumulating in my body over the week because its unpleasant side effects seemed to get stronger as the week progressed. I'm off of it as of Friday and am starting to feel almost human again.
Paul wrote that he pleaded with the Lord three times to take away a mysterious infirmity, to which the Lord replied, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, Paul concluded, "I will gladly boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." It's no coincidence that I have three chemo sessions to endure!
Prayers, friendship and support continue to come from friends all over the world! It's both awe-inspiring yet humbling. Thanks to all--you are appreciated and truly, the wind above my wings [anyone with even a modicum knowledge of aerodynamics knows that it is the wind ABOVE, not below, a wing that generates lift!]. You lift me up!! Thank YOU!!!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
April 24, 2007
Bottom line up front (BLUF)--Second chemo session yesterday went by faster: only five hours. Still have second-verse-same-as-the-first side effects but they're more moderate.
Burning lungs, parched throat, aching muscles! I went for a run, actually a jog, yesterday afternoon and managed to work up a good sweat. My red blood cell count is probably down accounting for the discomfort while exercising but I managed to go my normal distance despite having to walk three times. Was great to not feel the queasy insides for a while.
Got a new anti-nausea medication which I tried last night. After taking it, I was able to eat something even though I still had no appetite so maybe I won't lose as much as I did the last time.
Just knowing what to expect is half the battle.
The joy of the Lord is my strength!
Burning lungs, parched throat, aching muscles! I went for a run, actually a jog, yesterday afternoon and managed to work up a good sweat. My red blood cell count is probably down accounting for the discomfort while exercising but I managed to go my normal distance despite having to walk three times. Was great to not feel the queasy insides for a while.
Got a new anti-nausea medication which I tried last night. After taking it, I was able to eat something even though I still had no appetite so maybe I won't lose as much as I did the last time.
Just knowing what to expect is half the battle.
The joy of the Lord is my strength!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Pictures
OK, I promised pictures! Here I am on April 7th as most, hopefully, remember me. Notice the thinning but still visible head of hair! On April 20th, I had a buzz and shave to keep from shedding like a molting sheepdog.
Jonathan, 5, my barber. I asked several times, "Are you done yet?" to which he patiently replied, "No."When he was done, I buzzed him without his once asking whether I was done yet! (A teachable moment?)
Here's the old Hawaiian warrior, Pale Head! Will be sunning regularly to eliminate the "tan lines." Life is good! Laugh a lot!
Retrospective
(Bottom line on the bottom.) Trained as an analyst in the Air Force, I've been doing some pro/con analysis of my illness:
CONS:
1. Emotional trauma for Geri and me
2. Unpleasant chemo side effects
3. Root canals
4. Losing hair
PROS:
1. Have solidified my faith and confidence in God--not surprisingly, I've been praying more lately, but perhaps surprisingly, not for myself!
2. Both Geri and I have faced our own mortality and have a peace and joy about our inevitable deaths--whenever it's our time.
3. A renewed zest for life
4. Appreciation of good health and the absence of chemo side effects
5. A deep gratitude for every new day for the gift that it truly is
6. Strengthening of our marital relationship
7. Building bridges with long-neglected family members
8. Discovering true friends, whom I had previously mistaken for mere acquaintances
9. Getting to know some real medical professionals--competent, kind, compassionate, caring, understanding, supportive and available!
10. Developing a new empathy for fellow cancer patients
11. Lost a midlife waistline roll
12. No need for shapoo, combs or hair spray; cost savings offset, however, by needing more sunscreen for increased exposed skin above my neck!
13. Having to shave only every-other-day--maybe soon, not having to shave at all!
14. Hair's supposed to grow back--maybe I'll be a blonde when it does!
15. As a result of 12 and 13, above, greatly reduced personal hygene time
16. More free time to enjoy Geri, family, friends, life, health and every new day!
Bottom line on the bottom: Pros outnumber cons four to one! I can truly say that next to acknowledging Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, convincing Geri to marry me and the births of our children, this has been the BEST thing that has ever happened to me! Only God can turn this evil into so much good! On this Sunday, please join me in a prayer of thanks!
CONS:
1. Emotional trauma for Geri and me
2. Unpleasant chemo side effects
3. Root canals
4. Losing hair
PROS:
1. Have solidified my faith and confidence in God--not surprisingly, I've been praying more lately, but perhaps surprisingly, not for myself!
2. Both Geri and I have faced our own mortality and have a peace and joy about our inevitable deaths--whenever it's our time.
3. A renewed zest for life
4. Appreciation of good health and the absence of chemo side effects
5. A deep gratitude for every new day for the gift that it truly is
6. Strengthening of our marital relationship
7. Building bridges with long-neglected family members
8. Discovering true friends, whom I had previously mistaken for mere acquaintances
9. Getting to know some real medical professionals--competent, kind, compassionate, caring, understanding, supportive and available!
10. Developing a new empathy for fellow cancer patients
11. Lost a midlife waistline roll
12. No need for shapoo, combs or hair spray; cost savings offset, however, by needing more sunscreen for increased exposed skin above my neck!
13. Having to shave only every-other-day--maybe soon, not having to shave at all!
14. Hair's supposed to grow back--maybe I'll be a blonde when it does!
15. As a result of 12 and 13, above, greatly reduced personal hygene time
16. More free time to enjoy Geri, family, friends, life, health and every new day!
Bottom line on the bottom: Pros outnumber cons four to one! I can truly say that next to acknowledging Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, convincing Geri to marry me and the births of our children, this has been the BEST thing that has ever happened to me! Only God can turn this evil into so much good! On this Sunday, please join me in a prayer of thanks!
Friday, April 20, 2007
April 20, 2007
BLUF--latest tests from the shower drain, my comb and pillowcase are in--appears diagnosis of bald-as-a-cue-ball or as it's known in Hawaii, "bolo-head" is inevitable, so am having my grandson, Jonathan, himself sporting a buzz, buzz me this afternoon. Am tired of taking more time to clean up after a shower than it does to take it and having to brush off hair which tickles my ears, face and neck--remember, they have had 30 years of military training to not tolerate hair anywhere in their vicinity!
Bald is beautiful!
Have a wonderful weekend!!
Blessings to all!!!
Bald is beautiful!
Have a wonderful weekend!!
Blessings to all!!!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
April 17, 2007
Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF)--side effects of chemo are done except that even with an increased appetite, I can't seem to eat very much before feeling full, making weight gain difficult. I know, many reading this wish that they had this problem but believe me, you don't!
Just learned today that post-chemo, pre-rediation, I'll need to get two, maybe three root canals. Oh joy! These are purely preventative because once radiation begins, my healing abilities will be greatly impaired. So rest of April and all of May are shaping up to be fun months! Finish up chemo; two, possibily three root canals; radiation treatments for 2.5 to three weeks. But as my ND buddy, Jim O'Brien, himself a cancer survivor said, "Whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger!"
Have been noticing more hair in the drain after showers so I'm either going to end up "thinning" or completely bald. If it starts to come out in patches, I'll have one of my grandsons, in role reversal, give me a good buzz. Can't wait to ask, "Are you done yet?!"
We're fine. This experience has given us a new appreciation for every day, for each other, and for our friends and family. We thank God for His many blessings to us. May He bless each and every one of you!
Just learned today that post-chemo, pre-rediation, I'll need to get two, maybe three root canals. Oh joy! These are purely preventative because once radiation begins, my healing abilities will be greatly impaired. So rest of April and all of May are shaping up to be fun months! Finish up chemo; two, possibily three root canals; radiation treatments for 2.5 to three weeks. But as my ND buddy, Jim O'Brien, himself a cancer survivor said, "Whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger!"
Have been noticing more hair in the drain after showers so I'm either going to end up "thinning" or completely bald. If it starts to come out in patches, I'll have one of my grandsons, in role reversal, give me a good buzz. Can't wait to ask, "Are you done yet?!"
We're fine. This experience has given us a new appreciation for every day, for each other, and for our friends and family. We thank God for His many blessings to us. May He bless each and every one of you!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
April 12, 2007
BLUF--It appears that chemo side effects are over. Only residual problem is fatigue, as my body tries to recover from the earlier chemical assault. Had my first really good night's sleep last night and actually woke up hungry--something I haven't felt in the past nine days! I've gained back a couple of pounds and my goal is to bulk up before the next round--where did I put that Pizza Hut number?!
Had a radiology consult today. Dr. Becker, Tripler Army Medical Center, is recommending a round of radiation after I'm done with my third round of chemo in late May. This will be 17 or 18 consecutive days of relatively low-dose radiation, starting at about half of what breast cancer patients must endure, gradually decreasing. The good news is that will mean NO fourth round of chemo and its nasty side effects.
I cannot say enough about the entire staff at Tripler AMC: They have consistently been totally professional, compassionate, caring, kind, patient, and available. Their "bedside manner" has been absolutely superb as I believe my treatment has been to date. I simply could not ask for any more and have been truly blessed to have had the opportunity to meet such wonderful medical professionals. May God bless each of them!
Geri and I appreciate your continued prayers. God is good!
Had a radiology consult today. Dr. Becker, Tripler Army Medical Center, is recommending a round of radiation after I'm done with my third round of chemo in late May. This will be 17 or 18 consecutive days of relatively low-dose radiation, starting at about half of what breast cancer patients must endure, gradually decreasing. The good news is that will mean NO fourth round of chemo and its nasty side effects.
I cannot say enough about the entire staff at Tripler AMC: They have consistently been totally professional, compassionate, caring, kind, patient, and available. Their "bedside manner" has been absolutely superb as I believe my treatment has been to date. I simply could not ask for any more and have been truly blessed to have had the opportunity to meet such wonderful medical professionals. May God bless each of them!
Geri and I appreciate your continued prayers. God is good!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
April 10, 2007
BLUF--FIRST almost-normal day in over a week! Blessed be the name of our Lord!
We had an absolutely spectacular, glorious Easter celebration at our church--so inspirational, I felt like jumping and shouting! That's saying something for a shy, quiet, reserved Oriental like me! By the way, you can see the whole service on www.enewhope.org Just click on "Last week's service, 'Won by One.'"
Today was the first day since last Monday, eight days ago, that I've felt almost normal, albeit a bit tired. No shakey stomach, no headaches, no neural buzz, no feelings of nausea. What's really insidious about chemo is that I've had moments of respite, like a couple of hours one evening, when I felt fairly good, 75-80 on a scale of 100. But the side effects rushed back with a vengance the next morning--but not this morning!! Had almost normal meals today although portions were about 1/2 what I normally eat.
The weight loss plan? I'm down about 12 pounds which officially puts me at my high school senior fighting weight!! I hope to fatten up in the next couple of weeks before the next round of chemo. There are two schools of thought about side effects after subsequent treatments: one is that my body has adapted and the side effects will be considerably less; the other, contrariwise, is that the increased dosages and effects of accumulation will make them worse. Only time will tell.
Did I mention that my hair might fall out? If it does, I've already taken care of the "before" pictures. Stay tuned!!
It is so true that we don't appreciate what we have until we don't have it any more. Good health is a gift that I'm going to appreciate much, much more once this is all over!
Asking for your prayers for Caleb--go to http://prayforcaleb.blogspot.com for the complete, totally inspirational story. This young couple was in our premarital class and already have wondrous stories to tell about their and Caleb's journey.
Thanks for your friendship, support, thoughts and prayers--they ARE appreciated.
We had an absolutely spectacular, glorious Easter celebration at our church--so inspirational, I felt like jumping and shouting! That's saying something for a shy, quiet, reserved Oriental like me! By the way, you can see the whole service on www.enewhope.org Just click on "Last week's service, 'Won by One.'"
Today was the first day since last Monday, eight days ago, that I've felt almost normal, albeit a bit tired. No shakey stomach, no headaches, no neural buzz, no feelings of nausea. What's really insidious about chemo is that I've had moments of respite, like a couple of hours one evening, when I felt fairly good, 75-80 on a scale of 100. But the side effects rushed back with a vengance the next morning--but not this morning!! Had almost normal meals today although portions were about 1/2 what I normally eat.
The weight loss plan? I'm down about 12 pounds which officially puts me at my high school senior fighting weight!! I hope to fatten up in the next couple of weeks before the next round of chemo. There are two schools of thought about side effects after subsequent treatments: one is that my body has adapted and the side effects will be considerably less; the other, contrariwise, is that the increased dosages and effects of accumulation will make them worse. Only time will tell.
Did I mention that my hair might fall out? If it does, I've already taken care of the "before" pictures. Stay tuned!!
It is so true that we don't appreciate what we have until we don't have it any more. Good health is a gift that I'm going to appreciate much, much more once this is all over!
Asking for your prayers for Caleb--go to http://prayforcaleb.blogspot.com for the complete, totally inspirational story. This young couple was in our premarital class and already have wondrous stories to tell about their and Caleb's journey.
Thanks for your friendship, support, thoughts and prayers--they ARE appreciated.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
April 7, 2007
BLUF--I'm not dead yet!! The worst seems to be over, at least this time around. I took my last chemo by mouth last night--this is supposed to be the one which is causing nausea, insomnia and the generally "amped" feeling (high heart rate, slight headache, etc.) If I can dump these symptoms, I'll be just fine, thanks! I get to do this all over again in two weeks.
Want to lose eight ugly pounds in less than a week? Try the new chemo suppressed appetite at your oncologist now--somehow I don't think anyone would pay for this weight reduction plan!
Looking forward to celebrating this weekend. Remembering the suffering of our Lord makes my present situation inconsequential. The great news is that HE IS RISEN so we have a hope and a future.
May God bless every one of you. Thanks always for your continued thoughts and prayers. Please say a prayer for Geri as I know this is probably tougher on her than it is on me. Love to all!
Want to lose eight ugly pounds in less than a week? Try the new chemo suppressed appetite at your oncologist now--somehow I don't think anyone would pay for this weight reduction plan!
Looking forward to celebrating this weekend. Remembering the suffering of our Lord makes my present situation inconsequential. The great news is that HE IS RISEN so we have a hope and a future.
May God bless every one of you. Thanks always for your continued thoughts and prayers. Please say a prayer for Geri as I know this is probably tougher on her than it is on me. Love to all!
Thursday, April 5, 2007
April 5, 2007
Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF)--The treatment is DEFINITELY worse than the disease--at least so far. Yesterday was my worst day yet as nausea, severe stomach cramps, lack of appetite, and the drug "buzz" all conspired to knock me down, literally. I was close to hypovolemic shock (low blood poressure) a couple of times. It was not until late this morning that I have been feeling almost normal, relatively speaking.
I'm still drawing strength from the joy of our Lord. This is Easter week and I need to remind myself that HE IS RISEN!!
Thanks for your continued prayers and support. They are much appreciated!
I'm still drawing strength from the joy of our Lord. This is Easter week and I need to remind myself that HE IS RISEN!!
Thanks for your continued prayers and support. They are much appreciated!
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
April 3, 2007
BLUF: The cure is worse than the disease, at least that's what my body is feeling! I'm a chemical potpourri! Five different drugs to fight the cancer and four others to counter the side effects of the first five! My poor bod does not know how to react since I've previously resisted even taking an aspirin for a headache!
The side effects came on with a vengence last night and today: insomnia (which makes for one tired puppy during the day); quiesiness; trying to stay hydrated (resulting in a sprint to one restroom--what a sight!); dry mouth; irregularity ('nuff said); a strange, amped feeling, not unlike a caffine overdose, all the time. Not fun!
But to put these minor side effects into perspective: Today, in the chemo room, I ran into a couple whom we met in church many years ago--he's probably half my age but has cancer in his pancreas which has metastasized to his liver and other organs. They did exploratory surgery and closed him back up. He's had 40 pounds of liquid removed from his abdomen in the past two weeks in an attempt to keep the swelling down. And just tonight, a neighbor who was given two weeks to live last Thursday passed away from leukemia. She had three children, 13, 2.5 and 3 months, the latter considered to be a miracle child at birth, with her cancer in remission.
Dear saints, please join us in praying for Clarence and Pohai (first couple) and Cliff (surviving husband). They are all believers and have a future and a hope, so please pray for Clarence's healing and for healing from the pain, emptiness, sorrow and loneliness for Cliff. Relatively speaking, I am blessed and all of you are part of that blessing. Thank you, again.
The side effects came on with a vengence last night and today: insomnia (which makes for one tired puppy during the day); quiesiness; trying to stay hydrated (resulting in a sprint to one restroom--what a sight!); dry mouth; irregularity ('nuff said); a strange, amped feeling, not unlike a caffine overdose, all the time. Not fun!
But to put these minor side effects into perspective: Today, in the chemo room, I ran into a couple whom we met in church many years ago--he's probably half my age but has cancer in his pancreas which has metastasized to his liver and other organs. They did exploratory surgery and closed him back up. He's had 40 pounds of liquid removed from his abdomen in the past two weeks in an attempt to keep the swelling down. And just tonight, a neighbor who was given two weeks to live last Thursday passed away from leukemia. She had three children, 13, 2.5 and 3 months, the latter considered to be a miracle child at birth, with her cancer in remission.
Dear saints, please join us in praying for Clarence and Pohai (first couple) and Cliff (surviving husband). They are all believers and have a future and a hope, so please pray for Clarence's healing and for healing from the pain, emptiness, sorrow and loneliness for Cliff. Relatively speaking, I am blessed and all of you are part of that blessing. Thank you, again.
Monday, April 2, 2007
April 2, 2007
The first day of chemo went fine except that I was there from 8:30 a.m. till 3:15 p.m! They started with the drug to which most people have reactions and for the first few hours, I was getting more saline solution than medication! After a while, they ramped up the dosage and I got the last three medications within the last two hours. Anyway, except for a slight headache and feeling a little quesy--might be from sitting inside all day--I have no side effects, yet. Planning on a long walk with Geri as soon as I sign off here.
God is indeed good! This disease may have been meant for my ill but God meant it for good--mine and hopefully for others as well. I can honestly say that today, I have more peace and joy and I am more confident in my faith than I was before I got the news! It doesn't get better than that!
Riding this wave on you love, prayers and support! Thank you all--you'll never know how much you are appreciated!
God is indeed good! This disease may have been meant for my ill but God meant it for good--mine and hopefully for others as well. I can honestly say that today, I have more peace and joy and I am more confident in my faith than I was before I got the news! It doesn't get better than that!
Riding this wave on you love, prayers and support! Thank you all--you'll never know how much you are appreciated!
Friday, March 30, 2007
March 30, 2007
Well, the second lab examination of the specimens taken on March 6th confirmed that lymphoma cells are present, so chemo is on for Monday, April 2nd. Everyone who has ever been through this experience has told me that it's nothing to write home about, but I guess I'll have to find out for myself.
Your continued prayers and support have been a source of strength and encouragement. I am humbled and grateful. Enjoy the weekend--I know I will!!
Your continued prayers and support have been a source of strength and encouragement. I am humbled and grateful. Enjoy the weekend--I know I will!!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
March 28, 2007
BLUF--Join Geri and me in praising God!! Just got a call from Dr. Rainey, my oncologist, who has all the test results--EVERYTHING is normal, except for the original lab report (and my missing kidney, which I didn't know was AWOL!). They are going to reexamine the specimen and render a second opinion regarding the diagonosis of lymphoma--not likely that they'll have a different opinion.
So, although I have the lowest grade of lymphoma, (assuming the lab report agrees with the original diagnosis), this particular disease is diffuse, meaning that there are probably lymphoma cells throughout my body but have not yet manifested themselves in the form of masses or tumors. This makes treatment problematic because it'll be difficult to determine how much is enough but Dr. Rainey recommended an entire chemo regimen to get any of these diffuse cancer cells, wherever they are throughout my body. I intend to follow his recommendation.
Thanks to all who said a prayer--your prayers have been answered!
So, although I have the lowest grade of lymphoma, (assuming the lab report agrees with the original diagnosis), this particular disease is diffuse, meaning that there are probably lymphoma cells throughout my body but have not yet manifested themselves in the form of masses or tumors. This makes treatment problematic because it'll be difficult to determine how much is enough but Dr. Rainey recommended an entire chemo regimen to get any of these diffuse cancer cells, wherever they are throughout my body. I intend to follow his recommendation.
Thanks to all who said a prayer--your prayers have been answered!
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
March 27, 2007
BLUF (Bottom Line Up Front): The tests are over but the wait continues.
The MUGA yesterday had me lying on a table with an iv, while the tech positioned a large x-ray looking machine at three angles around my heart, about 10 minutes for each angle. After it was over, he showed me a digital "moving" picture of my heart beating! They'll use triangulation to figure out the volume of my left ventricle, apparently most critical and a baseline for future, post-chemo heart function.
The PET scan today was a bit more lengthy albeit with no results either. My prep was to fast from all carbos and vegetables after noon, have only protein for dinner (I had steak and mussels, nothing else!) then completely fast after 8 p.m. (not too tough). Geri was an angel and rode in with me early this morning, so we could use the carpool lane--we got there 30 minutes early! I was administered an IV and irradiated glucose, then had to lie still for about 45 minutes BEFORE the scan, allowing the radiation to circulate throughout my body. The scaning machine looks like the CAT scanner but required me to lie still for about an hour while the table on which I lay moved back and forth. The tech said it was ok to snooze so I did!
We had our date at lunch afterwards (I was "fairly" hungry!) and will await our oncology consult on Thursday when all results should be available. We're still have the joy of our Lord!
Thanks again for all the prayers, love and support!
The MUGA yesterday had me lying on a table with an iv, while the tech positioned a large x-ray looking machine at three angles around my heart, about 10 minutes for each angle. After it was over, he showed me a digital "moving" picture of my heart beating! They'll use triangulation to figure out the volume of my left ventricle, apparently most critical and a baseline for future, post-chemo heart function.
The PET scan today was a bit more lengthy albeit with no results either. My prep was to fast from all carbos and vegetables after noon, have only protein for dinner (I had steak and mussels, nothing else!) then completely fast after 8 p.m. (not too tough). Geri was an angel and rode in with me early this morning, so we could use the carpool lane--we got there 30 minutes early! I was administered an IV and irradiated glucose, then had to lie still for about 45 minutes BEFORE the scan, allowing the radiation to circulate throughout my body. The scaning machine looks like the CAT scanner but required me to lie still for about an hour while the table on which I lay moved back and forth. The tech said it was ok to snooze so I did!
We had our date at lunch afterwards (I was "fairly" hungry!) and will await our oncology consult on Thursday when all results should be available. We're still have the joy of our Lord!
Thanks again for all the prayers, love and support!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
March 25, 2007
For those who are time-challenged, I'll try to remember to put the bottom line up front and since it's Sunday, to share my faith: Geri and I are doing well, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am currently symptom-free. In fact, God has given both Geri and me not only a deep, abiding peace about this whole issue, but He's actually given us joy--in knowing that whatever happens, He will work it out for our good. Pastor Elwin shared that God WILL heal--we just don't know whether it will be in this lifetime or the next!! I've come to grips with my own mortality and know that I WILL die some day so I've taken out some spiritual insurance. My response to those who scoff at God as a myth is that the peace and joy in this lifetime are by themselves, worth the delusion, if that's all God is. But I know God and I know what He has done in my own life so I'll continue to put my faith and hope in Him--whatever the outcome. Amen.
Friday, March 23, 2007
March 23, 2007
For someone who has spent one night in a hospital in the past 20 years, and who sees a physician only when absolutely necessary (it's a "guy" thing, you know), I certainly have my share of upcoming appointments:
Mar 26--MUGA (multiple gated acquisition) heart scan
Mar 27--PET (positron emission tomography) scan
Mar 29--Oncology consult
Apr 2--1st chemo appt (CHOP + Rituxan). The head of the chemo dept warned me that this appt will be 5.5-6.5 hours long. (Guess no golfing that day!)
So I appear to be on a fast treatment track. I cannot say enough about the kind, compassionate, caring military medical professionals by whom I have had the honor of being treated. They have been simply superb!
In retrospect, the most touching, unexpected blessing of this whole situation has been the unexpected, undeserved yet sincerely appreciated love, support and prayers from family, friends, and former acquaintances who have proven themselves to be far more. You will never know how much your thoughts and prayers have blessed Geri and me.
So, whenever you read this, thank you . . . with our love, humbly and sincerely.
Mar 26--MUGA (multiple gated acquisition) heart scan
Mar 27--PET (positron emission tomography) scan
Mar 29--Oncology consult
Apr 2--1st chemo appt (CHOP + Rituxan). The head of the chemo dept warned me that this appt will be 5.5-6.5 hours long. (Guess no golfing that day!)
So I appear to be on a fast treatment track. I cannot say enough about the kind, compassionate, caring military medical professionals by whom I have had the honor of being treated. They have been simply superb!
In retrospect, the most touching, unexpected blessing of this whole situation has been the unexpected, undeserved yet sincerely appreciated love, support and prayers from family, friends, and former acquaintances who have proven themselves to be far more. You will never know how much your thoughts and prayers have blessed Geri and me.
So, whenever you read this, thank you . . . with our love, humbly and sincerely.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
March 20, 2007
Had bone marrow biopsy done today--not painful but a bit "discomforting," to use the Dr's words--like a dull ache deep inside my lower back which I have never felt before. Results will tell whether there's a low-grade lymphoma in my bone tissue, in addition to the relatively aggressive version taken from my upper jaw on March 6th. Treatment (chemo) should start next week but not until I have had a PET scan (sounds like putting Fido through a baggage scanner) and a MUGA scan of my heart (to insure that it's working ok since the chemicals could have an adverse effect on my heart). One SHOCK--I've lived all these years with only a right kidney: the high contrast CAT scan showed that my left one is "absent." This was new news, even for my Mom! Guess I can't be a kidney donor! Wonders never cease, as does God's awesome peace and joy throughout this journey. Good news: all CATS were clean of any tumors bigger than 1mm.
Monday, March 19, 2007
March 19, 2007
Had appt with oncologist, Dr. Rainey, who is at TAMC on a fellowship. He looked too young to be an MD, much less an oncologist but he ordered more blood tests, explained what was to happen from here on, including redoing the lab tests, more blood work, and a bone marrow biopsy. That didn't sound like too much fun, but tomorrow, I get to find out first hand! The good news is that the CAT scans for my torso and pelvis came back normal. The bad news is that those for my head/neck had not yet been evaluated. More waiting but God is good!
March 16, 2007
Got full body CAT scans today and two of my head/neck--one with and the other without the "dye" injected into a vein in my arm. Quite an experience and lesson in bladder control as the "dye" seemed to flow straight from my arm to my bladder, making for an uncomfortable last few minutes! Fortunately, this is normal and the radiology tech did the last scan in record time, enabling me to do what I had to do!
Maarch 9, 2007
Had appt with gen practitioner, Dr Barr at Pearl Harbor Medical Clinic. She's very concerned about my mental health and that of Geri's. I assure her that we're both ok. She orders x-rays and blood tests. There is a sense of urgency--which is good. She referred me to Tripler Army Medical Center (TAMC) for full battery of CAT scans and appt with oncology. I'm learning that I'm not in control of any of this but that God is, so one of the lessons I'm learning is to lean on Him!
March 8, 2007
Not so great news. After being seen by my brother, Ken, on Feb 6th for what I thought was an infected tooth, he referred me to a root canal specialist. Finally got to see this specialist on Feb 22 after he got ill the week before. Not my root canals so he referred me to an oral surgeon who I saw on Feb 28th. He wants me to do a CAT scan before he does a biopsy but I'm too cheap when they tell me that my medical/dental coverage will not pay so I ask him to do the biopsy anyway. Got phone call from oral surgeon today. Biopsy of part of right upper jaw, above my eye tooth, came back positive for lymphoma, also known as B or large cell lymphoma. That's ok. God has given me a peace about this journey no matter what happens, when or where it ends.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)