Bottom line up front (BLUF)--last night was the first full night of good sleep in a week. Feel almost human today, appetite is coming back and nausea/nervous guts are nonexistent!
Am rejoicing in this day which the Lord has made!
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
April 29, 2007
BLUF--Hopefully chemo side effects are on the wane and normalcy will prevail.
Had a pretty tough week since the last chemo. Suspect that the problem is the one med which I take orally for four days following the other IV meds--I think that one is accumulating in my body over the week because its unpleasant side effects seemed to get stronger as the week progressed. I'm off of it as of Friday and am starting to feel almost human again.
Paul wrote that he pleaded with the Lord three times to take away a mysterious infirmity, to which the Lord replied, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, Paul concluded, "I will gladly boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." It's no coincidence that I have three chemo sessions to endure!
Prayers, friendship and support continue to come from friends all over the world! It's both awe-inspiring yet humbling. Thanks to all--you are appreciated and truly, the wind above my wings [anyone with even a modicum knowledge of aerodynamics knows that it is the wind ABOVE, not below, a wing that generates lift!]. You lift me up!! Thank YOU!!!
Had a pretty tough week since the last chemo. Suspect that the problem is the one med which I take orally for four days following the other IV meds--I think that one is accumulating in my body over the week because its unpleasant side effects seemed to get stronger as the week progressed. I'm off of it as of Friday and am starting to feel almost human again.
Paul wrote that he pleaded with the Lord three times to take away a mysterious infirmity, to which the Lord replied, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, Paul concluded, "I will gladly boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." It's no coincidence that I have three chemo sessions to endure!
Prayers, friendship and support continue to come from friends all over the world! It's both awe-inspiring yet humbling. Thanks to all--you are appreciated and truly, the wind above my wings [anyone with even a modicum knowledge of aerodynamics knows that it is the wind ABOVE, not below, a wing that generates lift!]. You lift me up!! Thank YOU!!!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
April 24, 2007
Bottom line up front (BLUF)--Second chemo session yesterday went by faster: only five hours. Still have second-verse-same-as-the-first side effects but they're more moderate.
Burning lungs, parched throat, aching muscles! I went for a run, actually a jog, yesterday afternoon and managed to work up a good sweat. My red blood cell count is probably down accounting for the discomfort while exercising but I managed to go my normal distance despite having to walk three times. Was great to not feel the queasy insides for a while.
Got a new anti-nausea medication which I tried last night. After taking it, I was able to eat something even though I still had no appetite so maybe I won't lose as much as I did the last time.
Just knowing what to expect is half the battle.
The joy of the Lord is my strength!
Burning lungs, parched throat, aching muscles! I went for a run, actually a jog, yesterday afternoon and managed to work up a good sweat. My red blood cell count is probably down accounting for the discomfort while exercising but I managed to go my normal distance despite having to walk three times. Was great to not feel the queasy insides for a while.
Got a new anti-nausea medication which I tried last night. After taking it, I was able to eat something even though I still had no appetite so maybe I won't lose as much as I did the last time.
Just knowing what to expect is half the battle.
The joy of the Lord is my strength!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Pictures
OK, I promised pictures! Here I am on April 7th as most, hopefully, remember me. Notice the thinning but still visible head of hair! On April 20th, I had a buzz and shave to keep from shedding like a molting sheepdog.
Jonathan, 5, my barber. I asked several times, "Are you done yet?" to which he patiently replied, "No."When he was done, I buzzed him without his once asking whether I was done yet! (A teachable moment?)
Here's the old Hawaiian warrior, Pale Head! Will be sunning regularly to eliminate the "tan lines." Life is good! Laugh a lot!
Retrospective
(Bottom line on the bottom.) Trained as an analyst in the Air Force, I've been doing some pro/con analysis of my illness:
CONS:
1. Emotional trauma for Geri and me
2. Unpleasant chemo side effects
3. Root canals
4. Losing hair
PROS:
1. Have solidified my faith and confidence in God--not surprisingly, I've been praying more lately, but perhaps surprisingly, not for myself!
2. Both Geri and I have faced our own mortality and have a peace and joy about our inevitable deaths--whenever it's our time.
3. A renewed zest for life
4. Appreciation of good health and the absence of chemo side effects
5. A deep gratitude for every new day for the gift that it truly is
6. Strengthening of our marital relationship
7. Building bridges with long-neglected family members
8. Discovering true friends, whom I had previously mistaken for mere acquaintances
9. Getting to know some real medical professionals--competent, kind, compassionate, caring, understanding, supportive and available!
10. Developing a new empathy for fellow cancer patients
11. Lost a midlife waistline roll
12. No need for shapoo, combs or hair spray; cost savings offset, however, by needing more sunscreen for increased exposed skin above my neck!
13. Having to shave only every-other-day--maybe soon, not having to shave at all!
14. Hair's supposed to grow back--maybe I'll be a blonde when it does!
15. As a result of 12 and 13, above, greatly reduced personal hygene time
16. More free time to enjoy Geri, family, friends, life, health and every new day!
Bottom line on the bottom: Pros outnumber cons four to one! I can truly say that next to acknowledging Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, convincing Geri to marry me and the births of our children, this has been the BEST thing that has ever happened to me! Only God can turn this evil into so much good! On this Sunday, please join me in a prayer of thanks!
CONS:
1. Emotional trauma for Geri and me
2. Unpleasant chemo side effects
3. Root canals
4. Losing hair
PROS:
1. Have solidified my faith and confidence in God--not surprisingly, I've been praying more lately, but perhaps surprisingly, not for myself!
2. Both Geri and I have faced our own mortality and have a peace and joy about our inevitable deaths--whenever it's our time.
3. A renewed zest for life
4. Appreciation of good health and the absence of chemo side effects
5. A deep gratitude for every new day for the gift that it truly is
6. Strengthening of our marital relationship
7. Building bridges with long-neglected family members
8. Discovering true friends, whom I had previously mistaken for mere acquaintances
9. Getting to know some real medical professionals--competent, kind, compassionate, caring, understanding, supportive and available!
10. Developing a new empathy for fellow cancer patients
11. Lost a midlife waistline roll
12. No need for shapoo, combs or hair spray; cost savings offset, however, by needing more sunscreen for increased exposed skin above my neck!
13. Having to shave only every-other-day--maybe soon, not having to shave at all!
14. Hair's supposed to grow back--maybe I'll be a blonde when it does!
15. As a result of 12 and 13, above, greatly reduced personal hygene time
16. More free time to enjoy Geri, family, friends, life, health and every new day!
Bottom line on the bottom: Pros outnumber cons four to one! I can truly say that next to acknowledging Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, convincing Geri to marry me and the births of our children, this has been the BEST thing that has ever happened to me! Only God can turn this evil into so much good! On this Sunday, please join me in a prayer of thanks!
Friday, April 20, 2007
April 20, 2007
BLUF--latest tests from the shower drain, my comb and pillowcase are in--appears diagnosis of bald-as-a-cue-ball or as it's known in Hawaii, "bolo-head" is inevitable, so am having my grandson, Jonathan, himself sporting a buzz, buzz me this afternoon. Am tired of taking more time to clean up after a shower than it does to take it and having to brush off hair which tickles my ears, face and neck--remember, they have had 30 years of military training to not tolerate hair anywhere in their vicinity!
Bald is beautiful!
Have a wonderful weekend!!
Blessings to all!!!
Bald is beautiful!
Have a wonderful weekend!!
Blessings to all!!!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
April 17, 2007
Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF)--side effects of chemo are done except that even with an increased appetite, I can't seem to eat very much before feeling full, making weight gain difficult. I know, many reading this wish that they had this problem but believe me, you don't!
Just learned today that post-chemo, pre-rediation, I'll need to get two, maybe three root canals. Oh joy! These are purely preventative because once radiation begins, my healing abilities will be greatly impaired. So rest of April and all of May are shaping up to be fun months! Finish up chemo; two, possibily three root canals; radiation treatments for 2.5 to three weeks. But as my ND buddy, Jim O'Brien, himself a cancer survivor said, "Whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger!"
Have been noticing more hair in the drain after showers so I'm either going to end up "thinning" or completely bald. If it starts to come out in patches, I'll have one of my grandsons, in role reversal, give me a good buzz. Can't wait to ask, "Are you done yet?!"
We're fine. This experience has given us a new appreciation for every day, for each other, and for our friends and family. We thank God for His many blessings to us. May He bless each and every one of you!
Just learned today that post-chemo, pre-rediation, I'll need to get two, maybe three root canals. Oh joy! These are purely preventative because once radiation begins, my healing abilities will be greatly impaired. So rest of April and all of May are shaping up to be fun months! Finish up chemo; two, possibily three root canals; radiation treatments for 2.5 to three weeks. But as my ND buddy, Jim O'Brien, himself a cancer survivor said, "Whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger!"
Have been noticing more hair in the drain after showers so I'm either going to end up "thinning" or completely bald. If it starts to come out in patches, I'll have one of my grandsons, in role reversal, give me a good buzz. Can't wait to ask, "Are you done yet?!"
We're fine. This experience has given us a new appreciation for every day, for each other, and for our friends and family. We thank God for His many blessings to us. May He bless each and every one of you!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
April 12, 2007
BLUF--It appears that chemo side effects are over. Only residual problem is fatigue, as my body tries to recover from the earlier chemical assault. Had my first really good night's sleep last night and actually woke up hungry--something I haven't felt in the past nine days! I've gained back a couple of pounds and my goal is to bulk up before the next round--where did I put that Pizza Hut number?!
Had a radiology consult today. Dr. Becker, Tripler Army Medical Center, is recommending a round of radiation after I'm done with my third round of chemo in late May. This will be 17 or 18 consecutive days of relatively low-dose radiation, starting at about half of what breast cancer patients must endure, gradually decreasing. The good news is that will mean NO fourth round of chemo and its nasty side effects.
I cannot say enough about the entire staff at Tripler AMC: They have consistently been totally professional, compassionate, caring, kind, patient, and available. Their "bedside manner" has been absolutely superb as I believe my treatment has been to date. I simply could not ask for any more and have been truly blessed to have had the opportunity to meet such wonderful medical professionals. May God bless each of them!
Geri and I appreciate your continued prayers. God is good!
Had a radiology consult today. Dr. Becker, Tripler Army Medical Center, is recommending a round of radiation after I'm done with my third round of chemo in late May. This will be 17 or 18 consecutive days of relatively low-dose radiation, starting at about half of what breast cancer patients must endure, gradually decreasing. The good news is that will mean NO fourth round of chemo and its nasty side effects.
I cannot say enough about the entire staff at Tripler AMC: They have consistently been totally professional, compassionate, caring, kind, patient, and available. Their "bedside manner" has been absolutely superb as I believe my treatment has been to date. I simply could not ask for any more and have been truly blessed to have had the opportunity to meet such wonderful medical professionals. May God bless each of them!
Geri and I appreciate your continued prayers. God is good!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
April 10, 2007
BLUF--FIRST almost-normal day in over a week! Blessed be the name of our Lord!
We had an absolutely spectacular, glorious Easter celebration at our church--so inspirational, I felt like jumping and shouting! That's saying something for a shy, quiet, reserved Oriental like me! By the way, you can see the whole service on www.enewhope.org Just click on "Last week's service, 'Won by One.'"
Today was the first day since last Monday, eight days ago, that I've felt almost normal, albeit a bit tired. No shakey stomach, no headaches, no neural buzz, no feelings of nausea. What's really insidious about chemo is that I've had moments of respite, like a couple of hours one evening, when I felt fairly good, 75-80 on a scale of 100. But the side effects rushed back with a vengance the next morning--but not this morning!! Had almost normal meals today although portions were about 1/2 what I normally eat.
The weight loss plan? I'm down about 12 pounds which officially puts me at my high school senior fighting weight!! I hope to fatten up in the next couple of weeks before the next round of chemo. There are two schools of thought about side effects after subsequent treatments: one is that my body has adapted and the side effects will be considerably less; the other, contrariwise, is that the increased dosages and effects of accumulation will make them worse. Only time will tell.
Did I mention that my hair might fall out? If it does, I've already taken care of the "before" pictures. Stay tuned!!
It is so true that we don't appreciate what we have until we don't have it any more. Good health is a gift that I'm going to appreciate much, much more once this is all over!
Asking for your prayers for Caleb--go to http://prayforcaleb.blogspot.com for the complete, totally inspirational story. This young couple was in our premarital class and already have wondrous stories to tell about their and Caleb's journey.
Thanks for your friendship, support, thoughts and prayers--they ARE appreciated.
We had an absolutely spectacular, glorious Easter celebration at our church--so inspirational, I felt like jumping and shouting! That's saying something for a shy, quiet, reserved Oriental like me! By the way, you can see the whole service on www.enewhope.org Just click on "Last week's service, 'Won by One.'"
Today was the first day since last Monday, eight days ago, that I've felt almost normal, albeit a bit tired. No shakey stomach, no headaches, no neural buzz, no feelings of nausea. What's really insidious about chemo is that I've had moments of respite, like a couple of hours one evening, when I felt fairly good, 75-80 on a scale of 100. But the side effects rushed back with a vengance the next morning--but not this morning!! Had almost normal meals today although portions were about 1/2 what I normally eat.
The weight loss plan? I'm down about 12 pounds which officially puts me at my high school senior fighting weight!! I hope to fatten up in the next couple of weeks before the next round of chemo. There are two schools of thought about side effects after subsequent treatments: one is that my body has adapted and the side effects will be considerably less; the other, contrariwise, is that the increased dosages and effects of accumulation will make them worse. Only time will tell.
Did I mention that my hair might fall out? If it does, I've already taken care of the "before" pictures. Stay tuned!!
It is so true that we don't appreciate what we have until we don't have it any more. Good health is a gift that I'm going to appreciate much, much more once this is all over!
Asking for your prayers for Caleb--go to http://prayforcaleb.blogspot.com for the complete, totally inspirational story. This young couple was in our premarital class and already have wondrous stories to tell about their and Caleb's journey.
Thanks for your friendship, support, thoughts and prayers--they ARE appreciated.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
April 7, 2007
BLUF--I'm not dead yet!! The worst seems to be over, at least this time around. I took my last chemo by mouth last night--this is supposed to be the one which is causing nausea, insomnia and the generally "amped" feeling (high heart rate, slight headache, etc.) If I can dump these symptoms, I'll be just fine, thanks! I get to do this all over again in two weeks.
Want to lose eight ugly pounds in less than a week? Try the new chemo suppressed appetite at your oncologist now--somehow I don't think anyone would pay for this weight reduction plan!
Looking forward to celebrating this weekend. Remembering the suffering of our Lord makes my present situation inconsequential. The great news is that HE IS RISEN so we have a hope and a future.
May God bless every one of you. Thanks always for your continued thoughts and prayers. Please say a prayer for Geri as I know this is probably tougher on her than it is on me. Love to all!
Want to lose eight ugly pounds in less than a week? Try the new chemo suppressed appetite at your oncologist now--somehow I don't think anyone would pay for this weight reduction plan!
Looking forward to celebrating this weekend. Remembering the suffering of our Lord makes my present situation inconsequential. The great news is that HE IS RISEN so we have a hope and a future.
May God bless every one of you. Thanks always for your continued thoughts and prayers. Please say a prayer for Geri as I know this is probably tougher on her than it is on me. Love to all!
Thursday, April 5, 2007
April 5, 2007
Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF)--The treatment is DEFINITELY worse than the disease--at least so far. Yesterday was my worst day yet as nausea, severe stomach cramps, lack of appetite, and the drug "buzz" all conspired to knock me down, literally. I was close to hypovolemic shock (low blood poressure) a couple of times. It was not until late this morning that I have been feeling almost normal, relatively speaking.
I'm still drawing strength from the joy of our Lord. This is Easter week and I need to remind myself that HE IS RISEN!!
Thanks for your continued prayers and support. They are much appreciated!
I'm still drawing strength from the joy of our Lord. This is Easter week and I need to remind myself that HE IS RISEN!!
Thanks for your continued prayers and support. They are much appreciated!
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
April 3, 2007
BLUF: The cure is worse than the disease, at least that's what my body is feeling! I'm a chemical potpourri! Five different drugs to fight the cancer and four others to counter the side effects of the first five! My poor bod does not know how to react since I've previously resisted even taking an aspirin for a headache!
The side effects came on with a vengence last night and today: insomnia (which makes for one tired puppy during the day); quiesiness; trying to stay hydrated (resulting in a sprint to one restroom--what a sight!); dry mouth; irregularity ('nuff said); a strange, amped feeling, not unlike a caffine overdose, all the time. Not fun!
But to put these minor side effects into perspective: Today, in the chemo room, I ran into a couple whom we met in church many years ago--he's probably half my age but has cancer in his pancreas which has metastasized to his liver and other organs. They did exploratory surgery and closed him back up. He's had 40 pounds of liquid removed from his abdomen in the past two weeks in an attempt to keep the swelling down. And just tonight, a neighbor who was given two weeks to live last Thursday passed away from leukemia. She had three children, 13, 2.5 and 3 months, the latter considered to be a miracle child at birth, with her cancer in remission.
Dear saints, please join us in praying for Clarence and Pohai (first couple) and Cliff (surviving husband). They are all believers and have a future and a hope, so please pray for Clarence's healing and for healing from the pain, emptiness, sorrow and loneliness for Cliff. Relatively speaking, I am blessed and all of you are part of that blessing. Thank you, again.
The side effects came on with a vengence last night and today: insomnia (which makes for one tired puppy during the day); quiesiness; trying to stay hydrated (resulting in a sprint to one restroom--what a sight!); dry mouth; irregularity ('nuff said); a strange, amped feeling, not unlike a caffine overdose, all the time. Not fun!
But to put these minor side effects into perspective: Today, in the chemo room, I ran into a couple whom we met in church many years ago--he's probably half my age but has cancer in his pancreas which has metastasized to his liver and other organs. They did exploratory surgery and closed him back up. He's had 40 pounds of liquid removed from his abdomen in the past two weeks in an attempt to keep the swelling down. And just tonight, a neighbor who was given two weeks to live last Thursday passed away from leukemia. She had three children, 13, 2.5 and 3 months, the latter considered to be a miracle child at birth, with her cancer in remission.
Dear saints, please join us in praying for Clarence and Pohai (first couple) and Cliff (surviving husband). They are all believers and have a future and a hope, so please pray for Clarence's healing and for healing from the pain, emptiness, sorrow and loneliness for Cliff. Relatively speaking, I am blessed and all of you are part of that blessing. Thank you, again.
Monday, April 2, 2007
April 2, 2007
The first day of chemo went fine except that I was there from 8:30 a.m. till 3:15 p.m! They started with the drug to which most people have reactions and for the first few hours, I was getting more saline solution than medication! After a while, they ramped up the dosage and I got the last three medications within the last two hours. Anyway, except for a slight headache and feeling a little quesy--might be from sitting inside all day--I have no side effects, yet. Planning on a long walk with Geri as soon as I sign off here.
God is indeed good! This disease may have been meant for my ill but God meant it for good--mine and hopefully for others as well. I can honestly say that today, I have more peace and joy and I am more confident in my faith than I was before I got the news! It doesn't get better than that!
Riding this wave on you love, prayers and support! Thank you all--you'll never know how much you are appreciated!
God is indeed good! This disease may have been meant for my ill but God meant it for good--mine and hopefully for others as well. I can honestly say that today, I have more peace and joy and I am more confident in my faith than I was before I got the news! It doesn't get better than that!
Riding this wave on you love, prayers and support! Thank you all--you'll never know how much you are appreciated!
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