Musings

Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF)--Effects of chemo wearing off but insomnia finds me wandering the recesses of my mind---thinking is such an amazing ability!

Went jogging on Thursday, past, because it's always made me feel less of the negative side effects. I knew I was in trouble in the first 100 yards: my legs were burning and I was out of breath. No problem, tough it out for 200 yards then walk until I caught my breath--a hard way to do three miles but I was determined to finish and did feel better, an hour and 15 minutes later! Docs talk about a nadir (low point) in blood counts during the chemo cycle--I think I was at some kind of nadir on Thursday.

After the news that my bone marrow was not cancerous (yet), realized that I was allowing myself to think more than a month or two ahead--bought a new camera, resumed looking at used clubs and reading Home Depot/Lowe's ads again. After all, most of this kind of stuff would merely add to Geri's disposal burden after I'm gone.

Over the past few weeks, I mentally planned my own memorial service but I won't reveal any details. In a not morbid way, that was kind of fun--I'll get to request that certain very special individuals sing, dance and speak in my memory. How awesome is that? Whenever it is, it will be fun--the only rule: NO tears. If you really miss me, live your life so that we'll meet again!

Met another OSI (my active duty AF organization) cancer survivor today at a golf tournament and told her I was a fellow fighter. When I told her that I was done with chemo this week, she gave me a hug and impulsively exclaimed, "Praise the Lord!" That kind of camaraderie is priceless. Oh, I did "play" at an OSI tournament today. It's fortunate this was a select shot format because for the first 15 holes, I was not really present because of the lingering side effects. I didn't carry my load but was feeling better by the end, actually got a bit of appetite and had supper after the tourney.

Bad news this week: two other dear friends, only a day apart, informed us that they have been diagnosed with different forms of cancer. This is an omnipresent disease which is ruthless and random. Our thoughts and prayers are daily with both of them and their families as they begin their own journeys, hopefully, as Geri and I did, to a fuller, richer life, filled with family and friends and with renewed wonder, appreciation, love and support.

OK, not trying to cure any insomnia out there so will close this chapter for now. Anticipate chemo side effects to diminish through the weekend and be close to normal next week. Have a blessed weekend, love on somebody and praise the Lord!!